Thursday, February 2, 2017

What Is Important?

AJ's grandpa died yesterday. While he wasn't my grandpa I am still having a hard time with it. I am just kind of at a lost. At this point AJ's family seems to be doing well with it. 

Ashley and her family are coming down this weekend. They are staying with us, which makes since since her parent's house is full right now. There is a lot to get cleaned and dealt with here to double plus one in our house. I am thankful we have the space, but with all the projects going on it is taking some cleaning and reorganization to get things ready. 

My biggest problem at the moment is I am stuck. I keep trying to get started and then a kiddo needs something. I can't make myself not snuggle them. Drew will climb in my lap and I get the few minutes of that that I can. Sadie will "ups" me and either want to nurse or sit on me or next to me. I can't turn down those fuzzy head moments. Neither of them are snuggly kids, so I take what I can get.  His fluffy head and her fuzzy one are so...

I know that honestly no one will remember what the house looks like  I'm 5 years, but I know I will miss fluffy and fuzzy hair. These things shouldn't have such an appeal, but I have found nothing more... than fuzzy hair under my chin, there is no other feeling like it. The smell of her little head and that peach fuzz, I will never forget that feel. She is probably be my last and my last fuzzy head snuggles until I have grandkids and they might not be fuzz heads. 

His little fluffy head is something I love. I frequently tell him I am going to fluff his fluff. There is a little boy smell when he tucks his head under my chin to snuggle. It is the combination of dirt and sweat and little boy smell that never goes away no matter how recently he had a shower. 

These are the moments that make me feel alive and right now I need that. There are moments that I will never get back. I want to know I enjoyed them as much as I can. Funny how it takes a death to make me realize even more that I want to  make memories with my family and have those to always look back on. 

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