Friday, September 20, 2013

Patience


Drew has been going to gymnastics for a couple of months now. It has been an overall positive experience. The rough part is I have to keep up with him. He is fast and doesn't always want to sit and listen to stories or do the exact thing they are asking, especially when there is lots of fun equipment to play on. 

Today was one of those little attention span days. He just wanted to run and jump and climb. I chased him a lot back to the circle and so did the instructor.  After class the kids have to put on shoes to get stamps. Drew didn't want to do this and I was holding him in my lap because he had to leave. The instructor makes a joke about me having lots of patience with him. I made a joke back to him about it and he and the other instructors kinda lost it laughing.

It really made me think though. I am the last person who has patience with anything. I have never been a patient person. I spent most of my childhood hearing, "hold your horses", "patience is a good thing", and "you can do that when your time gets big" . I wanted instant everything from everyone, myself included. Needless to say, that didn't work the way I thought it should have, my time to get big was always much slower than I thought it should have been.

Fast forward to being Drew's mom. He is just like me. Everything is new and exciting, and needs to be explored as fast as possible. I spend a lot of my day chasing him, reminding him, and trying to mold him in to what will one day become a civilized member of society. I frequently feel like I have no patience for him. I want him to "get it" now. I need reminders like today to show me how much patience I really do have with him.

Yesterday was a patience day. He found a black marker (yay for washable markers) and colored on everything in our living room. Himself, the chair, the floor, the fish tank, the fish tank, and his toys. I kept my calm. He helped me clean it up. I got him cleaned up. Unfortunately, the fabric chair was not as lucky. It still has a little bit of marker on it. That is when my patience started to run dry. It has been a trying day up to that point, and I couldn't take anymore.Thankfully, AJ came home about then.
It is easy to get lost in the shuffle of rough days, busy days, and every days. I get frustrated and tend to take it out on others or myself. I feel like I bubble over. Those are the moments that I need patience and grace with myself. I need that grace, too.

Luckily, I  know that God looks at me everyday and sees me covered in "marker" and has overwhelming grace and patience with me. He sees my tiny hands making messes with everything and just helps clean them up. I know that because of this, I need to model grace and patience to Drew every day. I just wish it wasn't something I struggle with, but I think that is what makes it sweeter when it happens. In all of my flaws, I can live and model something I am not good at because God has grace with me.

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