Wednesday, May 9, 2007

My Deliverer

Oasis- Petra

You give me water in a dry and thirsty land
You satisfy my hunger
Yo feed me from your hand
I was a wanderer in the wildnerness
Until I stumbled on your oasis

And I will stay here with you
Here in the shade, here in the cool
You keep me safe through the night in your oasis

You give your spirit
To a dry and thirsty heart
You satisfy my longing
I hear the voice of God

I was a wanderer in my emptiness
Until you brought me near your oasis

And I will stay here with you
Here in the shade, here in the cool
You keep me safe through the night in your oasis

And I will drink from your well
I find my peace here in your shelter
And I will stay here with you in your oasis



My Deliverer - Rich Mullins

Joseph took his wife and her child and they went to Africa
To escape the rage of a deadly king
There along the banks of the Nile,
Jesus listened to the song
That the captive children used to sing
They were singin'
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by

Through a dry and thirsty land, water from the Kenyon heights
Pours itself out of Lake Sangra's broken heart
There in the Sahara winds Jesus heard the whole world cry
For the healing that would flow from His own scars
The world was singing
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise - He has written it upon the sky

My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart, I doubt my eyes
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise
though the stars should break faith with the sky
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming.

The Prodigal's Song- Petra

I'm only happy when I'm with you
And living life the way you show me
Whenever I'm apart, I grow a colder heart
I only feign my love for you

And if a day goes by without speaking
I love like I don't really need you
But in my heart I find I recognize the lie
My every breath I draw from you

And I still find you true, pulling me back to you

To you I will run
The prodigal son
Coming back home again to you
Open your arms
And into your heart
I'm folded in love again with you

And every moment that I've wasted
Chasing after my own dreaming
I know you will forgive and wipe away the tears
For all the lonely foolish years

And I will try to be true, living each day with you

All that I am
And all that I have
And all I can be
Is found in you



I forget that my Deliverer is standing by. I often forget that He is standing there waiting on me to call upon Him, to let Him be my all. I forget that He is wanting to be my strength and my shield, that all I have to do is turn to Him. He is my water, my life, my salvation. He will never abandon me, no matter how many times I start to turn my back on Him. He is there for me, He is mine and I am HIS!

I have been the prodigal son lately. Not intentionally turning my back on God, but more of a slow revolving away from Him. I have been trying to handle things on my own, and not exactly failing, but by far not doing a good job of juggling them. I know that isn't right and it isn't healthy, but it happened. I don't want it to happen, but occasionally it does. I am human, I forget, I fail, I struggle.

The lyrics to the Prodigal Son song hit home. I am colder when I am not as close to God as I should be.

I'm only happy when I'm with you
And living life the way you show me
Whenever I'm apart, I grow a colder heart
I only feign my love for you
I see this in my life. I am not happy, even when I should be if I am not in touch with God. It is fake, forced. Even though you can fake laughter and your body still acts like it is real, you can not fake happy and think it is real. People are agitating me more often, things that I should be able to let slide. It is a lack of God's love and grace in my life. I am not in Him as I should be and it is showing.

And if a day goes by without speaking
I love like I don't really need you
But in my heart I find I recognize the lie
My every breath I draw from you
I recognize the lie. I know that I am not where I should be. I have been fighting that, saying I will make time for God... tomorrow. Well I finally took a bit chunk of time this morning. It was only about 3 minutes, talk about really short timing God. But He used it. I prayed. A true prayer. I acknowledged my failings. I asked for forgiveness. I asked for His love to wash over me. I asked for Him to be my center again. I told Him I loved Him and I needed Him. I want Him as my world and not the one I have been having. Guess what. He heard me.


And I still find you true, pulling me back to you

To you I will run
The prodigal son
Coming back home again to you
Open your arms
And into your heart
I'm folded in love again with you

And every moment that I've wasted
Chasing after my own dreaming
I know you will forgive and wipe away the tears
For all the lonely foolish years

And I will try to be true, living each day with you

All that I am
And all that I have
And all I can be
Is found in you
I am not taking credit for this. God did it. He pulled me back. He made Jewell take longer than she normally would have to come downstairs. He used that time. I feel better. I missed God. The amazing thing is He has done nothing but encourage me so far. He has shown me He is God. He has used examples from other peoples lives to show me that He is in control. That He is. If He is in control of their lives when they didn't believe and still showed His love and mercy to them, how can I doubt that He isn't there loving me? I know that He has forgiven me. I know that all my sins are washed away. I know that all is good. I am folded back into His loving arms. I want to stay there, but I know my wandering heart will roam again, but I know God will call me back. I am like a sheep, prone to wander from this God I love. But He is a kind master and a good shepherd and I know His voice. He finds me and draws me back into the warm embrace of His arms.

The encouragement I got from God today:

Jeremiah 17:7-8

7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.

http://townhall.com/Columnists/MikeSAdams/2007/05/09/judges_636-40

“[Life Through the Spirit] Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”- Romans 8:1-2

"Know that I am on your side, right alongside you. You are not alone in this." - Colossians 2:1

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